Questions for cold play

So there is this contest that you can win cold play tickets and to meet the band and you have to have five interview questions

If sentenced to death which manner of execution would you request

Firing squad of waste high midgets?
Thrown into a pit a rabid raccoons?
Or
Listening to the soundtrack to High School Musical 2 in a padded cell with one open window that looks out over a 75 foot cliff, until you were finally driven to the edge of insanity and jumped?

Who would win in a cage fight to the death: drummer Will Champion or Staunch Republican and political commentator Ann Coultier?

If you had a one night stand with a groupie and left your favorite t-shirt at her apartment you would

A) call her up and retrieve it...no problems!
B) Forget the T-shirt and avoid a year of physcotic myspace stalking and text messages
C) Stalk her, learn her routine, and while she is out buying a life size card board cut out of you break into her apartment and remove the t-shirt from the shrine she has built for you? A.K.A. My house!

I've heard its lonley on the road, I'm relatively good company and I am not opposed to being the Designated Driver if the tour bus driver needs to get a drink...Keep in mind it took me seven tries to get my Drivers Liscense...however I didn't give up...persistence is key...can I tour with you?

If you had a lost and found box for your soul, what would be in it? (I give a meaningful glance here).

If it were possible to permeate and scent through the amplifiers at your show which would you pick?

The soothing scent of lavendar, which may cause your audience to become lethargic, nearly comotose?
The smell of plums, nearing a poignant state of decay? I mean pungent.
Gasonline, which would undoubtedly insue panic among the crowd, but also wake up the drunk in the third row whose river of drool was becoming a saftey hazard. Slippery when wet.

I think artist and writers, are always writing (lyrics) in their heads...Would you agree? Do you hear the words in any voice other than your own? Mine, are always in the prophetic voice of Twilight Zone creator and host Rod Sterling.

Bud Light Presents Mr. Eye Glass Wearing Truck Loader Man

Bud Light presents Mr. Eye Glass Wearing Truck Loader man.

We dedicate this song to you must wearer of the spectacles.

You might not be able to see…but we see you…

(SMOKIN)

You load your truck every day and why because you can see

So we solute you oh Mr loader of miscellaneous products

Be cause of you we have…and because of you we want to see.

So Thank you Mr Eye glass wearing Truck loader man


By: Donna Folk

Priceless

Ipod...175...meditation book...20...all the other itunes you have to download because you become obsessed with your ipod...150...busting your ear drums because you played the dam* ipod too loud to drown out the sounds of life...priceless

Rejection Letters

Rejection letter from Wild Dunes:

The position was filled, but we would still like you to apply for other opportunities.

Translation:

... Your cute but I don't want to sleep with you .... YET

Here's A Thought ... On Careers

I was thinking, no one really grows up to be what they wanted to be as a child. Sure there's a precious few, but are they so in love with the dream that they end up hating it...it is work after all. You can only be a cowboy for so many years, the saddle starts hurting your butt.
Furthermore, what if you were something really bad, but you were the best at it...like Satan, or a bank CEO...would you be considered successful? How do you measure success? If you are like a really wealthy lawyer, but hate your job? I don't think that's successful...but if you are a teacher that really loves her job, you are still poor so you can't really be considered successful. No one ever sees a teacher and says "yeah she's really successful". So if we are saying that success is measured by what people's perception is then in theory you could fake success. Example, if you're a mime in the streets of New York...you could pretend to be driving an Aston Martin...wow he's successful. If we measured success in a more tangible way you could fake it too, like one orange represents 5 years of success, I'd just go by a bag of oranges and learn to juggle them...I'd be a show off...maybe I'd throw them at people I don't like...BAH! IN YO' Face...I'm successful. If we could be ANYTHING we wanted to be, I'd be a recluse...and I'd be good at it too!
They'd say "you know she used to be really outgoing, then she chose this career path and never got off...its suits her though...she's really successful". I'm not going to get all fuzzy and say, I guess you have to determine what is success to you and find inner peace...that's a lie perpetuated by the health food industry...I'm thinking you may or you may not be successful and we should start teaching that...the younger the better...No, Phil you are never going to be a doctor...why is that you ask...well Phil, you are a little creepy even for a ten year old...sure pedophile seems like a perfect fit for you, I'll bet you will be really successful, and what's more Phil's parents won't be disappointed. Anyway, I didn't like it...thinking that is.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way equating bankers to Satan, Doctors to perverts, or Cowboys to Gay men...oh alright I am, but stereotypes die hard.

January 19th, 2007:

Happy Friday to all the wonderful women in my life,
I am feeling much less depressed today, cuz I have Saturday whoooo hooooo what ya'll know about that?
These are the what ifs I was having for the past couple days
What if...you can die from dehydration and too much water...aren't we all walking a thin line of death then?? Do fish get dehydrated? What about Mammals?
What if...everyone really did get along...wouldn't that be a huge blow to our economy? I mean what would the NRA do?
What if...I ate glue I mean they tell you not to, but why are we giving small children something so toxic and yet so appealing...? I think its prolly ok to eat.
What if...a fart smelled good and roses were stinking...would you want to wake up and smell the roses?
What if...Men carried the babies...they'd look like monkey's right?
What if...the smartest person you know is yourself?